The thought of keeping it a secret seemed absurd to me. For me, being open and honest about it keeps me accountable. Saying I am an alcoholic flows out of my mouth like saying my name or where I am from.

I found out in rehab just how much power my thoughts have over me. My thoughts had been holding me hostage for years chained to addiction. I had been at constant battle for control over my mind, so I now know I must be vigilant in guarding my thoughts. Situations happen everyday big and small where I must make a choice on how to react. I can choose to be happy or sad or grateful or resentful. 

"Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away." Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and The City

Today, I don't blame anyone or anything for my drinking. I know that I am 100% responsible for who I am and the decisions I make.  I know how ridiculous my thinking was when I was drinking. I have two siblings who lost the same brother. Neither of them turned to alcohol for comfort. No one made me turn to alcohol to cope. I did that all own my own.